•Housecleaner for "Students With Sponges," a fiction: Sarasota, FL (1993--College). Duration? Not long.


I thought, "I'm going to start my own business! I'll clean the houses of the rich on Bird Key and make fat wads of cash!" I bought various cleaning supplies, took out an ad in the Pelican Press, and actually got a few jobs before realizing that I HATE CLEANING and that I AM A LAZY FUCKER and that CHEMICALS MAKE ME WANT TO PASS OUT. I took Griff and Stan on two different occasions. Griff and I fought over who had to do the inside of the fridge, while Stan took countless smoke breaks outside by the kiddie swingset and ashed in the sandbox.

My lowest moment with Students With Sponges occured when I cleaned up after a Halloween party on Longboat Key. The lanai is what broke me. Someone'd spilled all sorts of mixed drinks, foodstuffs, and confetti on the terazzo floor, and the damn stuff would not come off. That was a hands and knees job, and it took me eight hours. I think I might have cried when no one was looking.

My boss at the SAR finally broke it to me that I was no good at cleaning. It was the best talk anyone ever gave me. Thank you, Su! Sorry about your fridge.


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